Merry Holidays!
Idiocy continues to stampede the holidays (can't say which ones), as I received yet another seasonal festivities card with a picture of a snowperson and a winter scene on it and no reference whatsoever to those days that people like to celebrate during December. Needless to say I felt completely merry yet unoffended.
Had the card arrived with one of those ornamented pine trees intended to commemorate you-know-who's birthday, I was savvy enough to have my attorney on speed dial so we could convene an immediate powwow (er -- conference in the tradition of Native Americans) to discuss my emotional trauma over this egregious attack on my faith.
I get seasonal-but-inoffensive cards from my realtor, airlines, and all my friends that I've worked with at equal opportunity companies that embrace all religions, races, creeds and degrees of spinelessness. As a native Californian, I must point out that I find all of this emphasis on winter discriminatory, as people continue to denigrate my geography. I wince at this display of thinly-veiled contempt, but inwardly I know I can endure the pain in the hope that someday the cards sent during this month (you know which one) will depict the Pacific Coast Highway and palm trees. In the meantime, you can be sure that HR is getting a nasty-gram from yours truly.
Anyway, here's my cheerful yuletide disclaimer: I heard, from a friend of another persuasion, about that holiday that falls on December 25th. I know what the pine tree is about. Mangers don't offend me, although they're overpriced in California and bound to fall in price as mortgage rates rise. Santa-You-Know-Who isn't a symbol of persecution. Reindeer are fine. I can handle the symbolism. For this month only, I offer an exclusive no-lawsuit guarantee: you can acknowledge a religion on any non-taxpayer funded seasonal stationery without reprisal. In fact, I may even receive it with a cautiously positive response.
So, now you can go ahead and send me one of those cards for that late December holiday. You know, that one. That'll cheer me up.
Had the card arrived with one of those ornamented pine trees intended to commemorate you-know-who's birthday, I was savvy enough to have my attorney on speed dial so we could convene an immediate powwow (er -- conference in the tradition of Native Americans) to discuss my emotional trauma over this egregious attack on my faith.
I get seasonal-but-inoffensive cards from my realtor, airlines, and all my friends that I've worked with at equal opportunity companies that embrace all religions, races, creeds and degrees of spinelessness. As a native Californian, I must point out that I find all of this emphasis on winter discriminatory, as people continue to denigrate my geography. I wince at this display of thinly-veiled contempt, but inwardly I know I can endure the pain in the hope that someday the cards sent during this month (you know which one) will depict the Pacific Coast Highway and palm trees. In the meantime, you can be sure that HR is getting a nasty-gram from yours truly.
Anyway, here's my cheerful yuletide disclaimer: I heard, from a friend of another persuasion, about that holiday that falls on December 25th. I know what the pine tree is about. Mangers don't offend me, although they're overpriced in California and bound to fall in price as mortgage rates rise. Santa-You-Know-Who isn't a symbol of persecution. Reindeer are fine. I can handle the symbolism. For this month only, I offer an exclusive no-lawsuit guarantee: you can acknowledge a religion on any non-taxpayer funded seasonal stationery without reprisal. In fact, I may even receive it with a cautiously positive response.
So, now you can go ahead and send me one of those cards for that late December holiday. You know, that one. That'll cheer me up.
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