The "I Dunno" Defense

Bernie Ebbers took the stand yesterday in the case of the people vs. the Man. Presiding over the case, Judge Wapner ordered Ebbers to cut down the tree branch that extends into his neighbor's yard, but Doug Llewellyn caught him afterwards protesting, "Sure, it's in my yard, but it's not my tree."

That's about as serious as the defense plea this former CEO of an $11b company is mounting.

Here's what he said, in an innocent dumbfounded southern drawl (from the New York Times):

I know what I don't know, and to this day, I don't know about technology and I don't know about finance and accounting."

Hello?! You were paid millions to run this company, for close to 20 years, through multiple mergers, and your defense is that you never learned accounting? You represented the company in front of institutional investors, banks, and stock analysts, and you don't understand technology, which is basically the business you were in?

It gets worse. This from Canada's Globe and Mail:

He testified he usually did not read the company's filings with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, including the annual 10-K filings, because "we were always coming up against deadlines," noting that he and Mr. Sullivan had an arrangement by which his financial deputy would verbally assure him of the legitimacy of the documents and he would sign them.

Come on. If he really didn't read the financial filings he signed his name to, then he should be convicted on the grounds of business idiocy.

Apparently, Richard Scrushy and Ken Lay are also expected to use the "I Dunno" defense. Let's hope the juries see through it.