Amazon Responds.
Well, we have good news and bad news in our quest to crack the code of Amazon's ranking system. If you missed it, this started with Keith Hammonds' observation here and our response here.
We sent both posts to Bezos via e-mail, and invited him to clear up the ranking mystery once and for all on our blog.
The good news is that he got back to us with an answer in a whopping 5 hours and 20 minutes.
The bad news is that it wasn't Jeff who responded. One of his minions intercepted our e-mail, and sent us this bullshit:
Second -- thanks for the insight. So, like, the lower the rank number, the more something is selling?
Third -- in three paragraphs, you have managed to tell me absolutely nothing that I didn't already know. If you had read the blog posts, and the questions posed therein, you would know that we are acutely aware (to the detriment of our own mental health) that the lowest-ranked items on Amazon are the best sellers. We also know that you say the rankings are updated hourly. We have read your FAQ section, which you just regurgitated back to us. Our question is why, oh why, do the rankings change by the minute? And further, why in the world won't you disclose the ranking formula? What are you trying to hide?
And finally -- "we hope you find it interesting"??? What the hell is that?
We do appreciate that you have responded to our good-natured prodding. And we know Jeff has far more important business at hand than responding to our measely blog posts. But forgive us for pointing out that your buttoned-up, unhelpful message with its super-sized helping of B.S. is worse than no response at all.
It's worth noting that we give Jeff considerable props in our book. He is one of the few CEOs we point to as beacons of clarity and personality. I have even been lucky enough to meet him, and he is indeed a humble, witty guy -- full of spunk and character. I am a big fan.
Which is why this interaction with him is so distressing. Because in a million years, on his worst day at the office, if Amazon was bleeding cash, if the stock was in the toilet, even if he just found out his wife was leaving him, he never would have responded this way.
At the beginning of every conversation we have about the book, the other party invariably asks, "So, why do business people speak like idiots?" Well, this is precisely why. Because we outsource our voice to people who don't have the confidence or clout to communicate with humor or humanity. Instead, they communicate like automotons -- avoiding any commitment, sidestepping any tough issues, just trying to make the issue go away. They think they are saving the CEO time or protecting him. But they are actually doing him a disservice.
So this is how it happens ... and why humanity is systematically being stripped out of business.
We sent both posts to Bezos via e-mail, and invited him to clear up the ranking mystery once and for all on our blog.
The good news is that he got back to us with an answer in a whopping 5 hours and 20 minutes.
The bad news is that it wasn't Jeff who responded. One of his minions intercepted our e-mail, and sent us this bullshit:
Greetings from Amazon.com.Okay, first of all -- thanks for the debrief on the various fiefdoms within Amazon customer relations. So, let me get this straight: there is an Executive Customer Relations team, of which you are a member, and then also a Customer Relations department, with which you work closely. Is there also a Trolling-Executives'-Email department, and where does that sit on the org chart?
My name is Cathy and I am a member of the Executive Customer Relations team here. As I work closely with our Customer Service Department, your e-mail message to Jeff Bezos has been brought to my attention. Please know that Mr. Bezos does read many of the e-mail messages sent to him, however, his schedule does preclude his ability to personally reply.
Thank you for sharing this blog with us. As you may be aware, we use sales rank to show how items in our catalog are selling. The lower the number, the higher the sales for that particular item. Items are ranked within their product category only, so a CD ranked at Number 1 is the best-selling CD at Amazon.com, but may not be the overall best-selling item.
We recently launched a change to how we compute sales rank. While we cannot provide specific information about our formula, we are pleased to announce that we are now including Amazon Marketplace sales in the calculation. In addition, sales ranking data will be updated hourly. In this manner, we're working towards a system that is more comprehensive and up to date.
We hope you find it interesting. Thanks for choosing Amazon.com.
Second -- thanks for the insight. So, like, the lower the rank number, the more something is selling?
Third -- in three paragraphs, you have managed to tell me absolutely nothing that I didn't already know. If you had read the blog posts, and the questions posed therein, you would know that we are acutely aware (to the detriment of our own mental health) that the lowest-ranked items on Amazon are the best sellers. We also know that you say the rankings are updated hourly. We have read your FAQ section, which you just regurgitated back to us. Our question is why, oh why, do the rankings change by the minute? And further, why in the world won't you disclose the ranking formula? What are you trying to hide?
And finally -- "we hope you find it interesting"??? What the hell is that?
We do appreciate that you have responded to our good-natured prodding. And we know Jeff has far more important business at hand than responding to our measely blog posts. But forgive us for pointing out that your buttoned-up, unhelpful message with its super-sized helping of B.S. is worse than no response at all.
It's worth noting that we give Jeff considerable props in our book. He is one of the few CEOs we point to as beacons of clarity and personality. I have even been lucky enough to meet him, and he is indeed a humble, witty guy -- full of spunk and character. I am a big fan.
Which is why this interaction with him is so distressing. Because in a million years, on his worst day at the office, if Amazon was bleeding cash, if the stock was in the toilet, even if he just found out his wife was leaving him, he never would have responded this way.
At the beginning of every conversation we have about the book, the other party invariably asks, "So, why do business people speak like idiots?" Well, this is precisely why. Because we outsource our voice to people who don't have the confidence or clout to communicate with humor or humanity. Instead, they communicate like automotons -- avoiding any commitment, sidestepping any tough issues, just trying to make the issue go away. They think they are saving the CEO time or protecting him. But they are actually doing him a disservice.
So this is how it happens ... and why humanity is systematically being stripped out of business.
<< Home