I want a new drug

Last night, I saw an ad for the first FDA-approved drug for adult Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). It's called Strattera.

I don't know about you, but I've been sporting the ADD badge of honor ever since I entered the workforce. How else could I justify zoning out on conference calls, nodding off at all-hands meetings, and scanning e-mail during performance reviews?

Apparently, a bunch of other schmoes have used the same excuse, because now the medical community thinks this is a real problem.

I'm paraphrasing, but the ad goes something like this:

Do you often feel distracted, disorganized, restless, unable to finish things -- like the channel keeps changing in your mind, and you can't control the remote? If so, then prescription Strattera may be right for you. Strattera can help you stay focused.

It might as well say,

Are you bored to tears at work? Having trouble concentrating on the bull your colleagues are spewing? Disinterested in the subject of your meetings? Wildly surfing your crackberry, hoping your secretary has sent an e-mail joke that will make your day a little more bearable?

Let's face it: we don't need a new drug. What we need is a more exciting work life. Laughter, suspense, intrigue, naughtiness -- these are the things that will keep us focused at work. Just like they keep us focused on mindless reality TV shows and Playstation II video games outside of work. The reason so many people are claiming ADD is because our work lives are just plain boring.

Now for the shameless plug: before you run out and get a prescription for Straterra (strategery?), try reading our book. For the price of one co-pay, and none of the added side effects (which, btw, include dry mouth, menstrual cramps, dizziness, sexual side effects, insomnia, problems urinating, constipation, nausea, and decreased appetite), you can lick this ADD thing once and for all. And you can use your hard-earned money to try a drug you really need: